I heard of this colossal small town worm race
in Toowomba, Queensland very far away.
I think they’re rather sending up the Melbourne cup,
because they hold it on exactly the same day.

I’l go to the TAB and I’ll lay down some money.
As for the Melbourne Cup, I can’t go there.
At the Melbourne Cup you gotta dress up fancy,
and I’ve not a thing appropriate to wear.

We’re goin’ to the Crows’ Nest Queensland worm race.
I’ve got the fastest worm in Melbourne; watch her run
Goin’ to the Crow’s Nest Queensland worm race.
I’m gonna take my winner Slimy[251].

Training for the race in my back garden.
Learning who is fast and who is slow.
The fast worms get to party in a private jar.
And as for the slow ones, back in the bin they go.

Qualifying heats I’ve found my winner!
From my landlady’s composting bin.
Couldn’t name ‘em all so they’re all Slimy
Number 2 5 1 is for the win.

We’re goin’ to the Crows’ Nest Queensland worm race.
I’ve got the fastest worm in Melbourne; watch her run
Goin’ to the Crow’s Nest Queensland worm race.
I’m gonna take my winner Slimy[251].

I tried three meter worms from Korumburra
But Eisinia Foetida’s the way to go.
My little Slimies left their arses in the dust.
Being so massive: bound to make ‘em slow.

In these troubled times I cannot go to Crows Nest,
because it’s too many kilometers from here.
So I’ll have a few friends over in the back yard.
And I’ll have ‘em place their bets and drink some beer.

We’re gonna have the Brunswick Melbourne Worm Race.
Can your worm beat my Slimy? Oh what fun!
Goin’ to the Brunswick Melbourne Worm Race.
The winner’s always Slimy 2 5 1.
The winner’s always Slimy 2 5 1
Two Five One.
Two Five One.